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Fonsie, Foxy, Boxing.

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When in New York, do as your sister does and box.

Nan trains and fights in Brazilian jiu jitsu. She is very good at it. I knew that she was good at  Brazilian jiu jitsu because she told me and because she’s been training for years. But when I observed her in class at Five Points Academy on Canal and Broadway on Saturday morning, I saw for myself. My sister has grace as a fighter. It made me proud to be a Fons, whatever that means. We are a graceful bunch, even when we are breaking people’s knees.

I watched the drills and grappling first, sitting up on a row of mid-rise lockers like I was a cheerleader or some dude’s girlfriend. I had blow-dried my hair that morning and was wearing a cute gym outfit. Oh, please. I was going to a boxing gym in New York City! You think I wasn’t gonna dress for all those tough boys from the boroughs? You bet I was. Even though I was just rooting for my big sister, it felt nice to feel my hair swing over my eye and kick my legs off the side of the lockers. We are all still teenagers.

The following is an interview I conducted with my sister earlier tonight via mobile phone.

M: So after jiu jitsu, I took the boxing class with you. How do you think I did?

N: You did surprisingly well. I ddin’t expect you to suck, but there’s a lot to know and a lot to keep straight and you were great. I’ve trained with lots of folks in their first class and you did much better than the majority. I didn’t expect to get an actual workout but I did.

M: What do you think was my best move? If I keep doing this, what’s gonna be my secret weapon?

N: Your roundhouses were quite good. Most people have no clue and you picked it up quick. You also had a good game face.

M: That’s like the best thing you could’ve said.

N: Well, it’s true.

M: Why do you fight?

N: I’m a reincarnation of a 11th century Mongol warrior.

M: I knew it.

N: Come on. I’m kidding. No, I fight because I believe working out should have a purpose, and combat sports engage the mind as well as the body. Besides, I just genreally enjoy being a badass. That’s what it boils down to. At this point, I don’t have to wonder whether or not I’m a badass; I just am.

M: How often do you train?

N: Six days a week. I don’t necessarily box six days a week, but six days a week I’m doing conditioning, ji jitsu, etc.

M: Do you think Jose thought I was cute?

N: I actually have confirmation on that. 

M: SHUT. UP. 

[Editor's Note: Jose is one of the guys who trains with my sister. Jose is from the Bronx. He's about 6’2, 190lbs. Dominican. Very, very handsome person, this person. Jose broke the tar out of my sister's thumb in class one day. He destroyed ligament. Nan now has titanium in her hand. I told him I was going to beat him up because he messed with my big sis. He laughed, I blushed. Then I swung my hair to the side and tried to look bored like a good female side-liner should. It was all very adorable.]

M: Did he seriously say something? 

N: Yeah, today he was like, “Yo your sister is mad cool. She cute, too.”

M: I’m dying right now.

N: He’s a good guy.

M: I need to lie down. Thanks for the interview.

N: Anytime, champ.

 

 

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