I’ll Always Love You, Michael Jackson.

There are a zillion bloggers blogging about it, a bazillion Facebook status updates about it, and in the days and months to come, a gazillion television specials and homemade YouTube tributes will be aired about it. It’s unlikely that I have much to say about the death of Michael Jackson that will not be covered by others, but I couldn’t possibly write about anything else tonight.

I loved his music. My sisters and I ruined at least two copies of Bad, playing the cassette for months on end when it came out in 1987. Thriller is the first record I remember looking at. Thriller and Paul McCartney’s first solo album, actually. I organized a school dance performance in junior high to “Black and White.” That was fun and slightly embarrassing, but man I loved that song. I had a renaissance with all Michael Jackson’s music a couple years ago and could often be found dancing in my underwear to “Scream” or “Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough,” or “Lovely One.” The dancing that I do to his music is different from any dancing that comes from me. I’m a pretty good dancer, but the right Michael Jackson song brings out the best moves I’ve got. His music brings out moves I didn’t know I had.

A little while ago, I plugged my headphones into my computer and opened up iTunes. It felt scary. I’m supposed to be listening to only Maria Callas. And I have been, faithfully, all month with no cheating. But this was important.

I sat there and let “Man in the Mirror” wash over me. I listened to “The Way You Make Me Feel,” and “Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough” and cried the whole damned time. I wrote about Michael many moons ago on PaperGirl when I was working on a piece about him for a book. I believe we ruined him. The world ruined him. I believe he was a good person and I believe he was a genius and I never use that word.

Maybe it’s because Michael Jackson is now gone, maybe it’s because I’ve been saturated in nothing but the bel canto for 25 days straight and am dying for a syncopated beat, but the music I heard never sounded so beautiful, so important.

I’ll always love you, Michael Jackson.

No Comments