Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Swine-B-Gone.
So far, I have not gotten the swine flu. I know plenty of people who have, so I feel like I’m winning at dodgeball.
It may be because I’m a diligent hand-washer. It may also be because most people aren’t getting swine flu, but I like to think it’s because I’m a diligent hand-washer. The committed, consistent washing of the hands is something that has picked up in the last few years, proving to me that some behaviors are biologically hard-wired to time out at different points in our lives. When I was younger, I didn’t care about washing my hands as much as I do now. My body/brain is clearly prepping itself to be ready to say to a child: “Did you wash your hands?” which is slightly depressing and also slightly cool.
Perhaps also helping to keep the flu at bay is my insistence on refraining from putting my fingers in my mouth, nose, or eyeball. Even if I’ve just washed my hands, I’m not too likely to stick a finger up my nose or into my eyeball, but it’s nice to give myself the option, which is another reason why I wash my hands a lot. But I know that every mucus membrane I’ve got is a sitting duck for Teh Swine, so I rub my eye with the back of my hand if I need to rub my eye and I blow my nose into a Kleenex instead of my sleeve. (Usually.)
Obviously, people who have gotten or will get H1N1 aren’t necessarily people who spend all their time molesting their mucus membranes with their filthy, filthy fingers. Most people will get the flu the good old fashioned way: from a germ that came from the devil. Because the devil is the source of all human suffering, you know. Really. The guy with horns and a pitchfork totally gave you the swine flu.
(Okay, okay. Maybe your waiter sneezed on his hand and then touched your straw. Maybe you’ve got a kid and the kid likes to give kisses. Maybe the butler did it. I don’t know, and neither does anyone else. But I hope you get well soon and don’t. Come. Near me. Goodnight!)
3 Comments
Comments
They didn’t test my dad for H1N1, but he’s been sick for about a week and a half. When I was taking him to the walk in clinic, I gave him a PocketBac (little hand sanitizers from B&BW;) so he wouldn’t spread the germs. He left it in his room. And when we stopped at Walgreens to drop off his prescriptions, he tried to throw the face mask the hospital made him wear on the floor of my car with all the other garbage.
I absolutely do not want whatever he got, but I’ve been feeling fine so far. I’m not a diligent hand washer. I’m not a big fan of hand sanitizer because I chew my cuticles and putting alcohol on my hands would sting badly. I tend to use B&BW;‘s antibacterial lotion, but I use it more when my hands are in need of lotion. If a customer approaches my register and I just blew my nose, I’ll use it and tell them it’s antibac so they feel better about deciding to go to my register. *shrug* I don’t get sick often. It’s usually just major allergy attacks that hit me.
By Coley on Tuesday, November 24, 2009 at 5:45 pm
0.k. so i read some we don’t want to hear it comments on this post. Hear this. The swine flu N1h1 WHATEVER near killed me because of the panic, two clinics told me I had flu as I reported my symtoms and sent me home saying gut it out, viral there is nothing we can do. when i landed in the hospital with a diagosis of Acute Lukemia the doc told me that if I had gutted it out two more days I would have been dead.
And—I am laying in this hospital bed since Nov. 10. I am zero immunity. no one here told me not to put my finger in my nose. i lay all day and walk and make it through some long nights. and i explore my nose just to see what has developed there. not no more because paper girl, hero girl, the one who dared to go there girl teached me. THANK YOU. finger in nose no more because mary told me that is that. valerie
By auntie on Saturday, November 28, 2009 at 11:50 am
Dear Author www.maryfons.com !
Very curiously :)
By aLFo_magic on Wednesday, December 2, 2009 at 1:10 am