Mary Fons

Look, Ma!

Mary K. — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:39:29 +0000

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

Madonna & Me is here! Published! With my essay in it! See how I bubble over with joy!

So what if the image is reversed? You can plainly see the book there in my hot little hands and practically hear me squeaking with delight. I say unto thee there can be no finer feeling in the world than seeing one’s words in print in a shiny new book with an ISBN and real estate (however digital) in the Library of Congress. When the words written are dedicated to one’s hero since 6th grade? Bliss.

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Terror!

Mary K. — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 15:38:06 +0000

My blog archives are not gone. They are somewhere in the ether and will be loaded into the new site on Friday, according to the nice web people who know what they are doing.

Ever feel like your life didn’t happen?

No, no. Me neither. That’s ridiculous.

Totally.

I Ain’t Even Catholic.

Mary K. — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 05:24:50 +0000

I have a side gig as a storyteller. It’s semi-official.

A friend who teaches at Columbia asked me to come to one of her writing classes and tell stories. The class was spending time in an oral (aural?) unit and she wanted a guest speaker. Gertie and I met long ago via mutual friends; I’m not sure we have any of those people in common at this point, but she remembered seeing me perform or show an ability to entertain with my mouth (hey-o) and asked me to come in and be an extemporaneous narrator, basically. One hour, a little bread, ... Read entire post

Charles.

Mary K. — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 03:21:59 +0000

When it’s this warm in Chicago in January, there may be cause for alarm.

This is not, I think, because the mild breezes are sinister messengers of the global warming that will melt all our icecaps/faces off. I suspect we are not the first crop of humans to feel a mild (and early, mind you) winter. But city dwellers should still tread carefully out there: when cold-winter people catch a break like this, they go a little nuts. I saw a young student in shorts shriek with joy and dive-bomb his buddy in order to wrestle him to the ground. On ... Read entire post

“The Development of Our Number System,” by Mary Fons, Freshman

Mary K. — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 03:46:32 +0000

And now, a report I found amongst the boxes of things my mother delivered to me in her quest to rid the house in Iowa of questionably saved childhood artifacts.

This essay (?) was written my freshman year of high school, which means that I was writing at the tender age of fourteen years old. I am more than a little scandalized by my flip, bratty attitude — and more than a little proud, my friends. As I type this up for you, I remain indignant over the indelicate circumstances that compelled my teacher to give the assignment. All ... Read entire post

Me + Carmina Burana (Part 2)

Mary K. — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 05:37:35 +0000

“I bring my bare back to your villany.”

And so I brought mine to the great hall.

Carmina Burana has been seared into the consciousness of millions since its instant, chart-topping premiere in 1937. Video games, action movies, commercials, meme-y videos online — everyone with a dramatic point to make (in jest or otherwise) reaches for O Fortuna, the first poem of 24 in the 60-minute score. This music is without question a badass, sonic force, so you can’t blame directors/writers for mining it. Because it’s a blockbuster, it catches heat. Folks diminish it, reduce it, pass it over. Lucky for me/us, the ... Read entire post

Me + Carmina Burana (Part 1)

Mary K. — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 00:01:06 +0000

I have always enjoyed reading and learning.

Last night I went to the symphony to hear Orff’s Carmina Burana. I went alone, dressed to the nines, possibly the tens. I wore all black, real pears and very high Dolce & Gabbana shoes with bows on the toes. I was dressed to receive art. It was a respect thing.

I need to have a snack and then I’ll write a full observation of last night’s date. Here now is a portion of the text from Carmina Burana; this is from the most famous first (and last) bit, O Fortuna.

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Ride.

Mary K. — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:00:43 +0000

I was in Washington D.C. with the Neos on a month-long gig at Woolly Mammoth Theater. Remember that, a couple winters ago? Of course you do, dear reader, and I appreciate you holding a spot for me in all that data you’re storing. We did something like eight shows a week to these huge, adoring, Georgetowny crowds. Some of my favorite performers were on that gig and it was a significant experience in many ways for all of us. I think we lived through a wrinkle in the time-space continuum, I honestly do.

That time in D.C. has been hanging out ... Read entire post

Acting, Part 2

Mary K. — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 18:00:40 +0000

The first thing that I registered was the guy’s facial expression. I think this is an instinctual response. The synapse is something like: “IN DANGER –> CHECK FACES” and then it’s either a) “IN DANGER –> CHECK FACES –> RUN” or b) “IN DANGER –> CHECK FACES –> ENGAGE”.

The dude’s face was one you might make if you were riding the train with a friend and she got off and you were still on as it pulled away. It was an “Oh no” look mixed with “This is hilarious!” It was then disclosed to me in a blithering, flustered, OMG-kind-of ... Read entire post

On Acting.

Mary K. — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 16:17:57 +0000

I keep having extraordinary encounters.

Remind me to tell you later about the head flight attendant on my L.A. flight who asked me to come with him to Maui. He asked me after lavishing me for 3 hours with screwdrivers (in actual glasses — plastic coach cups never touched my lips), first-class snacks, a bottle of wine, and good conversation. Were first class not full up, I am quite sure I would’ve enjoyed a spot, apparently just for being me. (?)

And remind me to tell you of the b-boys who, as I walked past in a shortish skirt on a way ... Read entire post