The PaperGirl Insty-Poem Delivery ServiceI know. There’s a brilliant poet in you who is dying to get out and show the world your verbal acrobatics, your vintage neckwear. But who’s got the time to write all that incredible poetry or tie those complicated knots? I do! Presenting the PaperGirl Insty-Poem Delivery Service™! If you need to poetically woo a lover, express gratitude to dear old mom, or destroy an enemy, you’ve come to the right place. Simply fill out the form on the right and within 48 hours, you will have a 100% original, custom-crafted, tasty morsel of poetic greatness in your hot little hands. All for just $35! Watch for special deals and word sales. The fine print: All poems will fit on a single sheet of paper and will include at least two stanzas but probably more. If you think about it, the concept of returning a poem is ridiculous, so all sales are final. Poems delivered within 48 hours unless other arrangements are made. Poems are generally written in the signature Mary Fons style. For examples, click here. For specific rhyme schemes (i.e., ABBAFAB), special formats (i.e., ghazals, rondeaus, etc.), or other hard stuff, an additional fee will be assessed to be determined by Mary and approved by you. Epics may also be special ordered. Poems will be sent via email in a Microsoft Word attachment within 48 hours from the time of ordering. All poems sold via the PaperGirl Insty-Poem Delivery Service™ are copyrighted by Mary Fons. That said, you can totally pass a poem off as your own in one-to-one circumstances (i.e., “Baby I wrote this poem for you please sleep with me now”) but if you try to get onstage or in print with it and call it your own, the hounds will be released because that’s plagiarism.
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