Comments on: The Funniest Things I Have Ever Heard. (Don’t Get Too Excited.)

By: The PaperGirl Persona - Mary Fons

The PaperGirl Persona - Mary Fons — Sun, 08 Sep 2019 03:09:12 +0000

[…] about sad stuff and bad stuff and gross stuff. But she bounces back. She’s a total dork, a complete spaz. She has perspective and she knows who she is. I love PaperGirl. She’s definitely real. […]

By: Betty

Betty — Mon, 12 Jun 2017 21:49:45 +0000

Sitting here thinking of funny stories, they all seem to involve my mom. Sure do miss her but the stories live on.

By: Barbara

Barbara — Sun, 11 Jun 2017 19:59:10 +0000

Also, when my son was about 4 years old, he asked me why they throw rice at a wedding, and I told him it was to wish the couple a happy life together. He then said to me,”mommy, when I get married I want them to throw devil dog pieces at me.” When he did
get married, his bride who knew the story, had at each place setting at the wedding, a devil dog with a ribbon and note attached with this sentiment, and asked “but please don’t throw them at us.” I smile every time I think about it.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sun, 11 Jun 2017 06:27:06 +0000

When I was a kid, I loved my neighbor’s “Welcome to our OOL, notice there’s no P in it. Please keep it that way.” sign!

By: Judy

Judy — Fri, 09 Jun 2017 15:15:35 +0000

“Poopy Hill” is histerical. Thanks for the laugh!

By: Jo Chalk

Jo Chalk — Fri, 09 Jun 2017 12:43:51 +0000

Teaching my toddler son right from left…putting his shoe on his right foot I said ” this is your right foot”. He looked at me and very sincere, “is that my Wrong foot?” While pointing to his left!

By: Nancy McFall

Nancy McFall — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 20:29:41 +0000

Continuing the T Rex theme: If you’re happy and you know it clap your…oh wait.

By: Kerry Leach

Kerry Leach — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 20:05:37 +0000

What is brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

By: Jeanann

Jeanann — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 14:49:29 +0000

The “hair cut” is now part of my repertoire. Thanks for the laugh.

By: Lindsey

Lindsey — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 14:34:49 +0000

I’ll add two more:

. An exasperated father at Disneyland growled to his crying three year old” if you don’t start having fun I’m going to spank you:!

A piece of typing paper taped to a restroom mirror: “March is don’t pick your nose month”.

By: Nadine donovan

Nadine donovan — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 13:04:04 +0000

Thank you for he smile you brought to my face..

By: Janice

Janice — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 12:51:52 +0000

My grandma had a embroidered sign in her bathroom that said “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.” Just a little variation to the version in Mary’s story. I still giggle when I think about my prim and proper Grandma hanging this in her bathroom! Maybe it was an Iowa thing?

By: Jody

Jody — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 12:51:50 +0000

When my oldest son was 5 yrs old we were at the grocery store one day. There was a very elderly man with a cane (like in his 90’s) in our aisle. I stopped near him and as we both were looking at the shelf for whatever it was my son just studied the old man and his cane. Finally he said as we started to move on “Mommy! That man has a kick stand!” I wanted to laugh but was afraid he may have insulted the old man but he turned and looked at my son, grinned and said “Yes! that is a good way to put it!” I still smile about that today 32 yrs later!

By: Kathy Isaacks

Kathy Isaacks — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 12:43:41 +0000

Thanks for starting my day with a giggle everyone!

By: Carmen

Carmen — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 12:06:18 +0000

I have a couple- when I was a tween I came across a bumper sticker in a parking lot that said “If You Tailgate Me, I’ll Flick A Booger on Your Windshield”. I laughed about that one for years. 🙂

The second on still makes me giggle, I’m embarrassed to say. In the cartoon movie “Meet the Robinsons”, the bad guy yells at a T-Rex’ “Why haven’t you seized the boy?!” And the dinosaur answers “I have a big head, and little arms!”, while struggling to reach for the kid. Please don’t ask me why I think that’s funny. 🙂

By: Barbara

Barbara — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 11:52:04 +0000

Remember “Right Guard” deodorant? Well, when I was about 10, I wondered “what do you use under your left arm.”
Crazy, huh? But true. I still laugh about it.

By: Mary

Mary — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 11:22:51 +0000

In reply to Nicole Hannah. A stick, a stick! :D

By: Susan

Susan — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 11:13:30 +0000

Here’s mine… getting my hair cut, one stylist was at the coke machine nearby holding a dollar near it and dumbly staring at the ceiling. After a while he turned to us and said, “What?!? It says to insert the bill FACE UP!”
Ahh, Ross! Funny man and heir (hair) apparent to a salon dynasty. Ross the Boss is his dad and also the name of the salon chain…

By: Lauren

Lauren — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 07:58:18 +0000

Overheard on transit: (child wailing) “but I don’t WANT to ne all tired out!”. Also from a bus, just a snippet: “if you’re in a desert, you’ve got nothing else to do; name the damned horse”.

By: Nicole Hannah

Nicole Hannah — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 05:24:18 +0000

Continuing your theme…What’s brown and sticky?