THE SHOWER GAME
a short play by Mary Fons
MARY 1 AND MARY 2 are sitting on a couch. MARY 1 looks at the time on her cell phone: 11:00pm. She sighs and lets the cell phone drop from her hand.
MARY 1: I need a shower so bad.
MARY 2: So go shower.
MARY 1: I’ll do it in the morning.
MARY 2: No, you should shower tonight.
MARY 1: It’s fine. I’ll do it in the morning.
MARY 2: You will sleep so much better if you shower right now.
MARY 1: (Dispirited.) I don’t want to be wet.
MARY 2: Look, you need a shower. You’re getting into a clean bed. You’re gonna get into a clean bed dirty?
MARY 1: I’m not dirty.
MARY 2: What do you call two days with no shower?
MARY 1: I call it “need a shower.” I’m not Pigpen. I’m not like, leaving dirt everywhere.
MARY 2: There.
MARY 1: What?
MARY 2: You admitted it. I said, “What do you call two days with no shower?” and you said, “I call it ‘need a shower'” and that means you agree you need a shower. Now go shower.
(MARY 1 slides off the couch in a mock display of severe fatigue.)
MARY 2: Knock it off. (She throws a bottle of shampoo and a towel at MARY 1. Blackout.)
END OF PLAY
*Readers may be interested in what happened here, speaking of night showers. — The Director