Tag: mary fons is glad the holidays are done they were great but like let’s return to the land of the living

  • The PaperGirl Predictor Machine-o-Gram Predictions for 2018

    The PaperGirl Predictor Machine-o-Gram Predictions for 2018

    Is that Philip Larkin down there?? (“Gipsy Fortune Teller,” by Taras Shevchenko, c. 1840. Image: Wikipedia.)

     

    Thank you for being kind about my mini-story the other day; I was weirdly seized with the desire to talk about what was going on with me without actually talking about what was going on with me and it was a really interesting exercise. Several of you asked for more chapters and you know, I might just write them. Thanks, as always, for reading the ol’ PG.

    Thank you also for sensing that I have needed a little rest. I am getting a modest portion.

    Now, then.

    This time of year, you see a lot of “Best/Worst” year-end lists and various wrap-up features (e.g., The Year In Pictures; The Year In Memes, etc.). It’s certainly important to reflect. But it seems there’s way more retrospecting than there is futurecasting. Instead of me doing a year-end wrap up of all the things that happened on this blog in the past year — it was all a blur, anyway — how about some predictions for the coming one?

    Here is a list of people, places, events, and other stuff I predict you’ll be reading a lot more about in the ol’ PG in 2018. It’s stuff I’m hoping I’ll be able to write about, anyway. I used a special machine to generate the contents, as you can see:

    The PaperGirl Predictor Machine-o-Gram Predictions for 2018

    Quiltfolk Magazine (my dream magazine)
    Philip Larkin (my dream dog)
    Travel (to distant lands??)
    A move to a new apartment?? (in Chicago, don’t worry)
    Love?? (possible … )
    Soaring income (look, this is my predictor machine! I’m going for it)
    Completion of my master’s in May (it’s gonna happen!!!)
    The return of a certain podcast project??? (who can say??)
    Other Wonderful Things
    Great clothes, baby
    Hottest year ever (not weather)

    Now, the PaperGirl Predictor Machine-o-Gram can tell no lies. So it also predicted things that I might not want but that must come to pass because hey, man. Life. So the following things will probably come up as you read along with me, but it’s okay:

    Woe
    Illness (but nothing serious, hopefully — Thanks Machine-o-Gram!)
    Melancholy
    Wistfullness
    Despondency
    General malaise
    Crushing fear

    Why are you looking at me like that? Them’s the breaks, gang. If I try to land a year with only good things and no bad things, I don’t think it would make for a very interesting reading experience for you. And I live for you.

    (I’m only half-kidding.)

    Happy New Year, everyone.