Tag: mary fons makes mistakes

  • I’m Having My Tattoo Removed: A Poem in 10 Verses

    It's a tattoo. Get it?
    It’s a tattoo. Get it?

    There once was a girl with a wrist, and desire she couldn’t resist,
    To ink a tattoo
    In an inky black hue
    Right there, so it wouldn’t be missed.

    To the needle she’d been twice before;
    She’d walked in the head shop front door;
    The tattoo artiste was a bit of a beast,
    But he’d do just what you asked for.

    “Tonight, I want an airplane,”
    Said the girl (who we will call “Jane”);
    “Make it real big,” and she took a large swig
    From a bottle of decent champagne.

    The burly man started the gun;
    And no, it wasn’t much fun —
    To have something placed that can’t be erased;
    It stings and it burns as it’s done.

    Once over, the girl floated out;
    She felt, without a doubt,
    Her stunning new ink was the long-missing link,
    Announcing what she was about.

    For months, she often admired,
    That which she had so desired;
    But her inked up forearm was losing its charm;
    The girl had become mostly mired.

    “I’m afraid I have some concern,”
    Said the girl, who began to burn
    With chagrined regret; she went on and let
    Herself the tattoo to spurn.

    “Would you please give me some info?”
    Said Jane Elizabeth Doe;
    “Your ad says that you w-will remove a tattoo”;
    “Yes,” the man said, and “Hello.”

    So she booked three sessions with John,
    Who removed what the needle had drawn;
    The prick of the laser never did faze her —
    She said, “I’m just happy it’s gone.”

    To every young laddie and dame,
    I say to you both just the same:
    Skip that tattoo and then maybe you
    Can avoid the ink made of shame!