Everyone’s just nutty about all those subscription box things.
Well, okay: If you haven’t heard about the subscription box thing, you are proof that not everyone is nutty about them, but once I tell you what they are, you might go nuts. Everyone else is, already! Here’s the definition from Wikipedia, which one should not really use to define things, but I am in press for Issue 07 of Quiltfolk and have to get up before dawn to edit:
A subscription box is a recurring delivery of niche products. Subscription boxes are a marketing strategy and a method of product distribution. Subscription boxes are used by subscription-based e-commerce businesses, referred to as “subcom” for short, which follow a subscription business model.”
What do you buy that you probably don’t actually need? Clothes? Jewelry? Makeup? Toys? Snacks? Home decor items? Kitchen gadgets? All of these things can now be purchased via subscription box. Whatever company you sign up with — and once you pay them, of course — they put things in a box and send them to you. From what I understand, some subscription boxes allow you to send things back; other “subcoms” just give you your stuff and if you don’t like it, well, better luck next month.
I do not subscribe to any of these boxes. I’m not saying I never would, but I don’t want strangers sending me things I did not shop for myself. I can appreciate that it’s fun, that it’s like Christmas when you open a new subscription box, except … Well, you’re paying for it. So it’s sort of like Christmas for adults. Yay.
However!
I thought of a few subscription boxes I would love to get. None of them are real but they obviously should be.
Ice Cream Box — Weekly
A new flavor every time, as long as the new flavors are always praline pecan, butter brickle, or salty caramel.
Massage Box — Every 4 hours
A small masseuse pops out of the box and makes it all better.
Box of Money — Constantly
Signature required.
Housekeeper Box — 3 x Week
Just think: When you open the box, the person is already inside, ready to start tidying while you pack your suitcase to go back to the airport!
Jewelry Box — Whenever
Lots of fance jewelry, all gold and sparkly things. Because you’re worth it and you’re nice to the UPS delivery person.