Taco Tape

posted in: Day In The Life, Work 13
The mighty — and mighty flawed — Mexican-style taco. Image: Wikipedia.


I think the idea for Taco Tape® first came to me when I was in junior high school. I was probably eating a taco when it happened.

The concept — which I’ll get to in a second — didn’t truly come into focus until a high school Econ class, however. Teach split us into small groups and tasked us with dreaming up a new product, then creating a marketing plan for it. Pretty standard-issue high school Economics assignment, but from humble beginnings, great things can come.

Our teacher may have chalked some product ideas up on the chalkboard. There might have been some discussion once we were divided into groups. But I had no use for these brainstorms. I needed no idea bank. I already had a brilliant product idea from years before! This was my moment! I politely informed my group that our product would be Taco Tape® . They shrugged and said it sounded like a good idea — because it is.

In short, Taco Tape® is an edible taco repair system.

Think about it. When you are eating a taco, a burrito — a tortilla-wrapped item of any kind, really — nine times out of ten, you’re going to run into problems. Because tacos fall apart! Juices from pico de gallo or chicken or sauce will compromise your snack. It’s not a matter of if; it’s a matter of when. Am I wrong? Do you not reach the end of your burrito or taco and find yourself regressing into some simian version of yourself, poking at your plate, scooping up the orts, lamely fashioning numerous other, tiny burritos by pinching shreds of your tortilla around a bean here, a chunk of carnitas there? Sad!

With Taco Tape®, all your burritos and tacos stay together — all the way down to the last delicious bite. Taco Tape® is made from 100% organic wheat and corn and comes off a Taco Tape® dispenser at your table, right next to the salt, pepper, and hot sauce! The secret to Taco Tape® is the invisible, flavorless, 100% natural, edible adhesive on the underside of the tortilla strip. Just pull off a piece of tape, bandage up your taco or burrito — and enjoy every perfect bite.

Right?? Wouldn’t Taco Tape® be great?

This isn’t the first time I’ve written about Taco Tape®, actually; I wrote about it years ago when the ol’ PG was very new and on a different website/server thing, both of which have been lost to time. But the coolest thing happened a couple years ago: A high school class somewhere here in the U.S. contacted me about using Taco Tape® as their product in their own Econ class! Someone else had the idea for an edible taco repair system! They googled it and the internet did produce my name in relation to it, so these darling teenagers emailed me to ask me if they could play around with the idea. Sometimes, you realize the world is gonna be okay.

My name was connected with Taco Tape®! On the internet! And now it is again. Seriously, can someone get to work on this? The world’s burritos need you. And I may or may not have the proprietary edible glue formula. Hm.

P.S. I am thinking about all my Florida friends and family and all of your friends and family anywhere in the path of Irma or The Next Big One. It’s frightening. We’re with you in the ways we can be.