


Do you ever have a task that just sits and sits because you don’t want to do it, so you don’t prioritize it, and then you finally do do it, not because you suddenly become excited to do it, but because you’ve just had it with yourself and can’t stand to not do it anymore?
Today, because I couldn’t stand another day of avoiding doing so, I finally hand-washed my stockings, pantyhose, and nylons. I don’t know if those are all slightly different things or essentially the same things, but I have more to get done this evening and can’t go look it up at the moment. All I know is that what I own in this wardrobe category lives in a single drawer in my closet but has been living in a small laundry basket for probably two months while I go about not dealing with washing it all.
Now, I don’t wear stockings too often and really never in the summer, but that’s just the point: Since I don’t need these items right now, it’s a great time to wash them and have them all nice when the weather turns. I’m not sure what was keeping me from doing it, honestly. I can think of a bunch of chores I dislike way more than handwashing (e.g., rinsing out a garbage can, dealing with that container of hummus in the back of the fridge that may or may not date to the Pleistocene Era, writing enormous tuition payments, etc.)
But today was the day that I completed the task and it was great, not only because now I have nicely-washed ‘tockins, but because I remembered the cutest story and thought of my Gramma Graham.
“Mary,” you’re saying, “I’m excited to hear a cute story and I’d love to know about your grandmother, but you’ve got a typo. It’s ‘stockings’, not ”tockins”.”
Oh, it’s no typo, my friend, though I do appreciate your eagle-eye. Indeed, I meant to say ‘tockins — and I’ll tell you why.
Dorothy Graham was my mother’s mother and she was the best. She had a graduate degree in English and taught high school English for many years. She had three children, one of which was my mother, so good job there, Gramma. She was honest, hard-working, and kind. She always had Fun-Size Snickers bars in her pantry and all my friends loved her, especially my friend Annie, who would just go hang out with Gramma, even if I wasn’t around. Oh, and by the way: Gramma started the town newspaper in Norwalk, Iowa, when she was sixty years old, people. That local paper is still going strong today, though my gramma passed in 2001. Dorothy shows up in my dreams, sometimes, and I love that when it happens. Remind me to tell other stories about her, okay?
Anyway, it’s years ago and I’m playing at Gramma’s house in Norwalk. I don’t know exactly how little I was, but I was darn little. Gramma was doing the laundry — and what do you suppose she was handwashing in the back bathroom? Her nylons and such, just like I did today. But back then, I knew exactly one thing about nylons/pantyhose: that I could not touch them or pull on Mom’s or Gramma’s because these strange garments were very, very fragile and delicate. Think about it: No one in pantyhose wants a four-year-old putting her grubby mitts on her stockings, so it’s a good strategy to say they are basically made of gossamer filament and pure air. And to a four-year-old, that’s totally what a sheer pair of pantyhose looks like: weird thread and air.
So, as the story goes, I walk into the bathroom and I see my Gramma washing nylons in the sink. And I see several pairs hanging up on the shower rod. And my eyes get big as dinner plates. And I cannot believe what I’m seeing. And I say, in shock and extremely concerned:
“Gramma! You can’t wash ‘tockins!!”
My gramma thought this was great. She explained to me that yes, ‘tockins were delicate, but that they were strong enough to wash, that they wouldn’t disintegrate in water and in fact could take a lot of wear, if a person was careful.
All my ‘tockins are hanging up on the shower right now, drip-drying. I shouldn’t have waited so long to do the task; I love being a woman with ‘tockins in the bathroom, and I loved my gramma, and really, all humans are all alike.

I never meant to be a quilter and I never meant to work in the quilt industry.
I was working as a freelance writer and performer in Chicago and then, not knowing what I was doing (in so many respects!), I made a quilt that I loved fiercely, a quilt that helped me heal from illness and heartsickness and that was it: My life in quilts began.
Those who know the American quilt landscape know why I stay. It’s the same reason we all stay: for the people.
Fine, we stay for the fabric, too.
But you know and I know we’d throw all the fabric bundles in the world into the sea if it meant we couldn’t keep the friends we’ve made in this quilt culture of ours. Some of the quilters and quilt industry people I’ve met are among my very best friends; many are people I’ve met at events. I’m happy to state the obvious: Quilters are remarkable people. When I think I stumbled into this thing sorta-kinda by mistake, I get quiet, because I might’ve missed it entirely if I wasn’t paying attention (and if I had given up on that first, awful quilt.)
There’s a publication out now called Quiltfolk. It’s not exactly a magazine; it’s not quite a book. The creators call it “a keepsake quarterly” and they’ve got it exactly. Quiltfolk put out its first issue last yaer; when Mom came across it, she said, “Mary, you gotta see this.” And so do you: Quiltfolk is unlike any quilt magazine you’ve seen, I assure you.
There are no ads. There is photography that will make you drool, except you’d better get it together because the paper Quiltfolk is printed on is way too nice to get wet. And, as you’ve probably guessed, the content is all about quilters. Quilt people. You, and me, and us.
Each issue focuses on quilt culture in a state or region of America, and that is a very, very groovy way to shape a thing. This is not a pattern magazine. There are a lot of fine magazines for that and we definitely want those patterns. But Quiltfolk offers a window on the world, each issue an investigation of the quilters who live in a particular area. The first issue was Oregon. Then came Iowa (there may or may not be a Fons person or two in there.) Issue 03, out now, takes you to flippin’ Hawaii.
Then, late last spring, I got a call from Mike McCormick, co-founder of Quiltfolk, about doing some writing for them. I said I’d think about it. (I’m kidding. I pinched myself and muted the phone so I could yip and jump and not scare the poor guy.)
In June, I met up with Mike, Rebekah, and Leah in Nashville, because Issue 04…is Tennessee.
We went to Tennesee! To investigate the rich quilt culture of Tennessee and write about it and take pictures of it! Could you die?? I just about did. This assignment was bliss for a quilt history nerd like me. You might remember when I was down there. I was vague about my trip because fans of Quiltfolk — a growing army at this point — know that when the publication’s next state or region is announced, it’s like Christmas.
Being able to write for Quiltfolk is an honor. I met Merikay Waldvogel, y’all. This woman is a legend. A quilt historian whose work over the decades has strengthened the roots of our world in incalculable ways. She’s a personal hero and she’s just one of the people we interviewed for Issue 04 — there’s so much more.
So I’m breaking my rule about outside links in the ol’ PG. Get Quiltfolk in your life and don’t wait too long: Issue 01: Oregon sold out long ago and Issue 02: Iowa is dwindling. Get ‘Hawaii’ and sign up for Tennessee. You know I don’t promote too much stuff around here; when I do, I mean it. Yes, this magazine is more expensive than your others; but to make this collectible object, a publication without ads, with deep reporting, and lush photography by a woman who has shot photos for National Geographic for Lord’s sake… You will never regret it. I promise you that.
My only regret about this whole Quiltfolk thing is that I didn’t come on as a writer one issue earlier. I missed freaking Hawaii. You owe me one, McCormick. I’ll forgive you if you slate Issue 10 for Alaska.

Yesterday, I had an appointment at Northwestern Hospital unlike any appointment I’ve ever had at any hospital. Rather than go in for a procedure or a bag o’ iron juice, I went in for a massage. A massage at the hospital! Who ever heard of such a thing!
It sounds pretty fance — and I suppose getting a massage is pretty fance, no matter where you get it — but this particular massage was more detail, less indulgence; more technical, less recreational. I’ve been having some tightness at my former ostomy site(s), you see, and I understand massage is effective in combatting adhesions, and I believe adhesions are the cause of the weirdness, here.
An adhesion is “an abnormal union of membranous surfaces due to inflammation or injury”, so that’s cute. And these (internal) adhesions, aside from being super adorable, can be somewhat dangerous, especially when they’re hanging around your guts, since they can twist around said organs and cause blockages and stuff. Adhesions are the kudzu of the body, and the more surgery you have, then more adhesions you ave. So I’ve been doing some tummy poking on my own, but when my GI doc said Northwestern offered massage on the hospital campus, I made an appointment. The gal could poke me with more flair and also work on my shoulders.
So I’m in the room, chatting with Cassandra, the nice lady who was to smoosh me around, and I decided I should pee first.
“Cassandra,” I said, “I’d like to run to the bathroom real quick before we get started. Would that be okay?”
The lovely Cassandra said it was just fine, so I hopped off the slab, dashed out the door, and ran down the hall to the bathroom. I had to hurry because the clock was ticking — and I wanted every maneuver Cassandra had in her repertoire before the bell tolled and I found myself in the state of no longer being massaged.
I threw open the door to the bathroom and when my feet hit the tile, I remembered I was barefoot. Hm. But I squinched up and thought, “Well, it’s not the best to not have shoes or socks or flip-flops on right now, but I’ll be in and out of this joint in five seconds.”
At which point I sort of leaped over to the toilet and was about to do my lil’ biz — when I stepped in pee.
I stepped in pee, y’all.
I howled. My body recoiled and thrashed at the same time (not easy) and I managed to get my foot further away from the rest of my body than it had ever been before. My mouth was in a Macauley Culkin-in-Home Alone-style scream as I hopped to the sink and swung my leg up so that my foot would go into the sink.
Pee!
Would I die?? Whose icky pee was this?? No! Don’t tell me! I flapped my hands under the motion-sensor antibacterial soap dispenser thing. More! I needed more! What was this anemic foam?? I needed a Haz-Mat team. I needed surgery. I needed divine intervention. The water out of the faucet got super hot, thank goodness, and I washed and washed and tried not to barf. By the time I was done, my left foot had never been cleaner.
When I hopped out of the sink I took a bunch of paper towels and fashioned little slider-slipper things for myself to get out the door, then I shot back to Cassandra’s room. I did not tell her about the pee because it wasn’t an issue at that point and I was burning daylight on this massage.
I shall never be the same. Cassandra worked on the knots in my shoulder, but she can never relax the trauma in my soul.

My heart was tugged hard today, walking up Wabash Avenue.
There’s a Dunkin Donuts-cum-Baskin Robbins on the corner of Wabash and Polk, here in Chicago’s South Loop. It’s funny; I’ve never been inside. In over five years of living in this neighborhood, I’ve never gone inside and I don’t understand how this is possible, seeing as how I like donuts, ice cream, and coffee that tastes like ice cream — which is the only kind of coffee they serve at these places and really, the only kind of coffee one should order at a donut shop that sells triple-dipped waffle cones with sprinkles and hot fudge.
So I’m walking north to an appointment with my shrink* and I see two city characters engaged in an important moment. I believe I was seeing a businessman interacting with a homeless person. This is only conjecture, but the businessman-looking guy was clean-shaven and wearing a tie and a button-down shirt and he had clearly taken a shower within the past two hours, so I think it’s a safe bet he was some kind of professional-ish person.
The other guy was too thin. He was wearing soiled clothes. I don’t suppose he had eaten a hot meal or had a bath in awhile. Again, this is all hypothetical. But the interaction I witnessed, that much was clear:
The businessman came out of the donut-ice cream shop and handed the other guy a cup of hot coffee (large) and a paper bag full of probably four or five donuts or maybe a couple-three breakfast sandwiches. As I walked past the two of them, I heard the businessman say, “Here you go, buddy.” Then, I heard the homeless guy go, “Thank you, thank you so much. God bless you. Thank you.”
So a guy, headed to work, went into Dunkin Donuts for his breakfast. As he went in, he saw a guy who needed a breakfast. He bought himself a breakfast. And then he bought the needy man a breakfast. And I got to see the hand-off. And I blinked tears back all the way to Congress Avenue.
Obviously, there are very good reasons to live in a small town. And there are innumerable acts of charity and goodwill happening every second of every day in towns of all sizes across this country and around the world. But there is a particular brand of brotherly and sisterly love that takes place, and takes root, in the city.
It’s not all cement and traffic. It’s donuts and coffee, too.
*Well?

My aunt Lynette lives in Houston. She is very beautiful and very smart and she’s lived there many decades. Four? Maybe more decades than that. Not knowing about the severity of the storm that was coming, she and my uncle left to visit friends and family some days ago. That was lucky, though they couldn’t know they wouldn’t be able to return as scheduled; they don’t know exactly when they will return — or what they’ll come home to.
My grandparents, who have both passed away, now, lived in Houston most of their lives and raised my father and three aunts there. Grandma and Gramps lived on Cindywood Drive and I visited a number of times as a child. I remember the dolls my grandmother had and how you could not sit in the cream-colored living room. You sat in the other living room. And you couldn’t go into Gramps’s study, either, but Gramma usually had fudge-sicles in the freezer, so things balanced out, especially if you were six years old and did not care about cream-colored living rooms or offices, only about what was cold and sweet and came on a popsicle stick.
When my grandfather passed away, I went down to Houston and into the house on Cindywood. I still remembered how to go in through the back door. There were no fudge-sicles. I sat in the cream-colored living room. The house has since been sold.
I don’t know if it’s underwater, now; I forgot to ask my aunt about that.
Mom grew up in Houston, too. On Robin Hood Street. She met my dad in Houston and they fell in love there. I asked Mom recently to remind me how they met. The important part of the story is that she and a girlfriend and John (that’s my dad) all went to go swimming at a pool and Mom thought her friend was the cute one, but when Dad said, “Let’s all jump in!” the other girl balked. She never jumped. But Mom didn’t flinch; she flew right in. Dad said that was all it took.
Anyway, all that happened in Houston. The fudge-sicles, the love-falling, the jump. And my aunt Lynette and uncle Barney, they are still happening in Houston, you could say.
Also what is still happening in Houston is the locus of the quilt industry. Quilts, Inc., the company I have proudly worked with for over two years — all my Quilt Scout columns can be found here — is based in Houston. This is helpful when it’s time for International Fall Quilt Market & Festival, which happens in Houston every year at the end of October/beginning of November. Market and Festival are held at the vast George Brown Convention Center, remember? I’m assuming the show will go on; there are two full months till Market. But Houston is in trouble right now, so I’m not really thinking about two months from now. I’ve contacted my friends; everyone is okay at the moment, so there is mercy.
There are lots of reasons to have a moment and think very hard, or pray, or breathe, or do whatever you do for all the things that are floating right now in Texas.
Sometimes, memories float away because things like cabinets and photographs and houses float away, and once they do, there’s no evidence of anything to remind you of what you used to remember or the people who lived around or in those objects. Memories float the way of things, sometimes. That’s the bad news.
The good news is that it’s memories, not cabinets or homes, that have the potential to stick around longer than any of that stuff. But you have to tell your memory to speak. Talk about your life. Or write it down. Or tell someone who can write it down to write it down with you; or tell them to carve it in stone. Or tell them to carve it in stone and put it in a bottle and blast it up to the moon. Keep it safe, I guess, is what I’m saying.
Writing this blog is my way to beat back the floods, I guess. It’s my carving in stone that is put into a bottle that is blasted to the moon. Otherwise, the water will carry it all away.
Houston, you got this.