Relocation.

posted in: Chicago, Fashion, Travel, Work 10
"The Chess Players" Lucas van Leyden, 1508
“The Chess Players” Lucas van Leyden, 1508. (The chick is winning.)

I cannot stay in my home when the second phase of the renovation begins and so I am leaving on a jet plane. I will go to Miami, then Las Vegas, then Iowa, then New York City, in that order, and you’re coming with me.

First, I should say that the bathroom looks incredible and it’s not even finished. The Greek key tile inlay is exquisite and now that it’s done, the rest of the bathroom will go quickly, but this means that the kitchen is about to be dismantled with sledgehammers and picks and slathered with dry wall and plaster and wet tile goo and mortar and sweat. The dust produced by the bathroom work over these weeks has threatened to choke me dead or drive me insane for the simple reason that my house has become impossible to clean. A visible layer of powdered wall daily sifts itself down upon my books, my tables, my quilts (!) and no amount of dusting, wiping, swabbing, etc., ameliorates the situation for more than a matter of hours. The kitchen is twice the size of the bathroom and the thought of doubling my already sisyphean dusting attempts creates in my brain uncomfortable, hula hoop-like gyrations. I work from home, for heaven’s sake. There is no escape here. So I will leave.

Signs point to Miami for New Year’s, which I’m excited for; I’ve never been and wanna see the art. I’ll be in Las Vegas for just a few days in mid-January, randomly; I actually have a a mild affinity for Vegas — all those feathers! Then I think I should head over to Iowa and work in the magazine office for a spell; good for the job, good for the team, good for the parental units who live in town, as well. And then, if a few things fall into place, I’ll be off to New York City, where I’ll stay with my older sister and eat lots of chickpea crust pizza in the East Village and visit my favorite resale shops that sell used Balenciaga at 80% off 60% off. Only in New York can you get an exquisite Dries Van Noten, bias-cut, asymmetrical cape-coat-pantaloon, used, for $85 bucks. Combien j’aime la mode…

So. You wanna go?

You’ll see Miami through my virgin eyes. You’ll see Vegas through a filter of someone who’s a) been there before and b) never gambles. You’ll see Iowa; glorious, quotidian Iowa where there are only feathers on the birds, thereby giving us more opportunity for reflection and rest (a good thing after Miami and Vegas to be sure.) And then New York City, the huge, glittering onyx in Earth’s fancy cocktail ring.* Oh, it will all be a gas and I do so love to see new things and write it all down. We’ll have fun, you and me, and when I come home, the bathroom and kitchen will be done.

I have some packing to do.

*In fact, I am headed to New York on the 20th of this month, as well. The Fons Family is having Christmas in NYC this year, so if you read this blog regularly, you’ll get plenty of New York stories over the holiday; this may come in handy if you’re stuck in Boise and need something sensational to read. 

10 Responses

  1. Penny Barnes
    | Reply

    Let’s do lunch while you’re a practicing Iowan….we can wear feathers if you like.

  2. Karen Morrell Johnson
    | Reply

    Very wise move! Wish Seattle were in your plans, but I’ll enjoy your travels from my recoop bedside!

  3. Carl
    | Reply

    Miami was great in the day. I went to college at the UofM. I can tolerate Vegas. I love NYC! And Iowa is close by! I’d wear feathers with you too!

  4. Mary Ann
    | Reply

    I will tag along for the laughs…and somewhere along the line a few deep reflections I imagine…
    Fly Mary, fly!

  5. Care
    | Reply

    Hey Mar let’s see a pic of your bathroom NOW so we can compare before and after. Happy travels!

    • Mary Fons
      | Reply

      Yes! I gotta figure out how to either post an image here, Care, in the comment field — or I just gotta do a whole post about the tile itself… I think that’s the ticket. I promise I will! Thanks, gal. 🙂 Mar

  6. Jan Dixon,
    | Reply

    I am looking forward to the trip!

  7. Stephanie Forsyth
    | Reply

    I’ll be in Kingman, AZ January 8-13 which is only 100 miles from Vegas if you want to add a stop. 😉

  8. james
    | Reply

    THE 37th ART DECO WEEKEND – JANUARY 17-19, 2014

    “Art Deco at Play”

    OCEAN DRIVE, MIAMI BEACH, FL 33139

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