One day I woke up in the morning and I had zero fur coats. When I went to bed that night, I had three. True story.
Last year, my very good friend Jonathan gave me a beautiful gift of a mink coat. I know. He really did give me a mink coat. I loved him very much.
He also gave me a shearling coat. Both of these coats, he did not have a use for. He also loved me very much.
Later that day, after the fur coats (we were up to two, now) were put into the back of his car, nicely wrapped in garment bags, we went to a flea market. And what did I find but a very inexpensive (and totally unique) fur coat! This one was gently used, white, short, and about a hundred bucks. Since I was now the proud owner of two fur coats that were gifts, I felt owed it to the Fur Coat Gods to pay a tithe. Then I would have three fur coats, which seemed ridiculous and fun. So I bought the coat and then I went home and tried them all on. I recommend this as an afternoon activity to anyone.
Months later, I gave the mink back. It wasn’t mine to keep by then. And besides, though it was absolutely gorgeous, a mink coat on me is conspicuous. If I were a season ticket-holder at the Met, if I went to charity functions at Kennedy Center with frequency, if I had a driver, etc., these would all be good reasons to wear a coat as thick and rich and fine as that mink. But I do none of those things (yet) and so the coat was doomed to languish in my closet. It seemed a shame.
The shearling, I kept. It’svvery warm, which is good if you’re in Chicago or New York or, say, Washington D.C. And the other little one? Well, I had it cleaned because it smelled like cigarettes and I put it in my storage locker here in Chicago until earlier today, when I had to fetch items for the Quilty shoot. I spied it and it was terribly cold outside, so I grabbed it and now have it with me. The coat I brought with me is insufficient, so I might just wear that fur while I’m here.
Zero fur coats, three fur coats, two fur coats. I’m lucky I have a story like that to tell and a coat at all in this world.