Operation: Dismantle

posted in: Day In The Life 0
Well, have you? Wigwam Hotel, c. 1960. Photo: Wikipedia
Well, have you? Wigwam Hotel, c. 1960. Photo: Wikipedia

I am sprawled on a hotel bed in Charlotte, S.C.*

Earlier today (not in my pajamas) I hosted a live-streaming event for the talented, prolific, famous, and oh-so-friendly folk artist Jim Shore. I met Jim when I filmed an episode of Love of Quilting in the spring; he was the guest and we got on like peas n’ carrots. When Shore & Co. decided to do this worldwide live-streaming event, they called me up. All of Jim’s designs come from his brain, but some are created in licensing partnership with minor companies such as Disney, Peanuts, Warner Bros., etc. What I’m getting at is that I’m now a Disney princess.

The event went beautifully. I had awesome hair thanks to Jim’s daughter Robin. I’m told the Jim Shore website was flooded with hits to the point where things weren’t working properly, probably the unofficial goal. We almost had a microphone disaster but two minutes after we were supposed to start, it was fixed and we rode the web to victory. It all seems so civilized and easy, but it only looks easy and it’s actually so civilized (not just this event but all on-camera stuff) that by the time you’re done, you feel like a Honda Civic that didn’t get its headlights turned off. Drained, in other words. Soon as my hotel room door is closed on days like this, I did what I always do when I’ve been on-camera and smiling for a full day. This is what I recommend:

Enter room. Take off shoes. Fling shoes across the floor. (Not violently; it’s kind of a free-throw thing.) Drop bag. Yawn. Scratch ribs. Flop on bed. Sigh deeply and be annoyed that didn’t laptop was not taken out of bed before the flop. Retrieve laptop. Crack open. Listlessly look at email. Do nothing for five minutes. Possibly watch YouTube video; do not view self on YouTube for any reason whatsoever (this is a general rule.) Scratch ribs again. Get up to get snack. Eat snack on bed, feeling guilty but not that guilty. Retrieve Hello Kitty headband and put on so to wash face. Eventually wash face. Brush teeth. Possibly watch 19 Kids and Counting for a little while. Turn off. Also turn off light. Sleep instantly with mouth wide open. Dream about that lady on Regis & Kathy Lee who is not Kathy Lee and does not do morning show with Regis, except he’s there and also Donald Trump is there and also there is a fox running around the studio, not on purpose.

You’re welcome.

*Post didn’t post last night for some reason. But what is time, anyway?

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