Marianne Fons Says ‘Eat The Cheesecake’

posted in: Family, Tips 17
Marianne Fons says, “Eat the cheesecake!” Photo: Wikipedia.


A few years ago, a rule in our family changed. First, let me explain what rule I’m talking about.

Most families have a version of this rule. It could be called the “Do Not Touch That Pie Until After Dinner Or You Will Sorely Regret It, Now Get Out Of My Kitchen” rule. Other versions of the rule may include: “If You Eat One Cooky Off That Tray Before We Sit Down To Eat, So Help Me God”; “If You Have Any Sense In That Head Of Yours You’ll Step Away From the Fudge; “You Are About To Meet Your Maker If You So Much As Breathe On Those Scotcharoos”; or the simple-but-effective, “Getcher Mitts Off That Cake” rule.

Right? Right.

Well, a few years back, on either Thanksgiving or Christmas, at some time in the day that was not appropriate pie-eating time (e.g., 9 a.m. or 12:30 p.m.), I was in the kitchen trying to pick off a gooey, sugary, perfectly toasted pecan off the top of Mom’s famous pecan pie without being noticed — and I was failing spectacularly. But that day was remarkable, because there was a time when I would’ve gotten caught sneakin’ pie and gotten slapped with the ol’ “Getcher Mitts Off That Pie” rule. But on this day, the opposite happened.

“You know,” my mom said, “just have a piece of pie if you want it. It’s okay.”

A pecan that was halfway to my mouth fell onto my blouse and stuck there. My mother is not a sarcastic woman, nor does she tease her children or have fun at our expense. If she was saying I should “just have a piece of pie” if I wanted to, she was saying … that I should have a piece of pie. A piece of the pie she baked for a special occasion. The pie we were planning to eat after Thanksgiving dinner in like, six hours.

“Mom, are you serious? You’re joking.”

My mom shook her head and threw up her hands. “I mean, why not? Eat it! That’s what it’s for!”

“Yeah, but — ”

“You know,” Mom said, “I had a friend whose mother-in-law was a wonderful candymaker. She was great at making it. She’d make candies for the holidays every year and put it all out on doilies on these beautiful milk glass plates: caramels, toffees, fudge, brickle. Just gorgeous.

“When you came over to the house, you’d be drawn, as if by magnetic force, toward all the candies. But she’d see you get within 10 feet of it all and she’d say, “Nooooooo! That’s for later! Don’t eat it! Don’t you dare eat it!”

I nodded and eyed a ragged piece of crust on the side of the pie, begging to be broken off and eaten. I liked where this story was going.

“Childed, you would back away from the candy plates,” Mom continued. “And then, of course, everyone would eat dinner. You’d eat the turkey and the dressing and the yams and the cranberry and the rolls and the butter and the ham.”

“And you’d drink the wine,” I said, and popped the crust into my mouth.

“Oh, this lady didn’t serve wine. But you get the idea. All that food, and then pie and ice cream! And then, once you had wiped up your piece of pumpkin pie or pecan pie and you had patted your mouth with your napkin, she’d come around with these heavy candy plates and practically force you to eat the candies. If you said, ‘No, no, I’ve had enough,’ she’d be offended. I ask you: Does this make any sense?”

“No, mother,” I said, “no, it does not.” It looked very possible that I was going to have pecan pie for breakfast in front of God and everybody.

“In my opinion, do it. Look, it’s the holidays. If you’re lucky, there’s all this beautiful food! Why save and save these things for some point in the future when everyone’s too full, anyway? We’re adults! No one cares if there’s a piece taken out of a pie when it’s time to eat it, do they? Do they really? If you’re hungry for it, eat it.”

“Yeah!” I said, already dislodging an entire sticky slice of what is truly my favorite food on the Earth. I had to do this before she changed her mind.

But my mother didn’t change her mind that day, nor any day thereafter. If there are Santa cookies in the kitchen or an apple pie cooling on the counter, this stuff is available for the snacking. Mom will say, “That’s what it’s for!” and we are all willing to oblige.

I obliged today, in fact, when I had cheesecake for lunch. Here’s hoping everyone had a sweet Christmas today or, at the very least, a good Monday. I love Mondays. More on that later.

17 Responses

  1. Marianne ten Kate
    | Reply

    A lovely mother AND pie; talk about being able to count your blessings! We must all do the same, whether we have pastry or parents close at hand. Marianne’s cheesecake is a metaphor for love – the only thing one can give away knowing there is an endless supply.

  2. Cathy
    | Reply

    Your mother is wise! As I’ve gotten older, I’ve changed my rules too. Like she said, “what difference does it make?” Let your hair down and live a little!

  3. LynAnne Smucker
    | Reply

    Yes. I agree. Enjoy the bounty of the season when you have it. Too often we save things for a special moment, the perfect fabric that doesn’t get put in a quilt, the special dress that can only be worn on special days, the art supplies that are too precious to use up. The purpose of pie is to be eaten, enjoyed and relished. The purpose of special things is to enjoy using them to make art or quilts or to feel fancy for no good reason but that you have the desire to wear the special outfit or good shoes.

  4. Gaynell Lindo
    | Reply

    Love,love,love this philosophy!

  5. Susan
    | Reply

    That’s the same principle as ‘use your favorite, prettiest fabric’. What are you saving it for? I have to force myself on that one!

  6. Gayle
    | Reply

    You are my best Christmas present this year! I just discovered your blog a few days ago, and I am enchanted. Please continue to share your observations; I appreciate your openness and your youthful perspective (I am 70 plus!). Thank you. And by the way, I LOVE seeing you on F&P Love of Quilting.

  7. Kelly Ashton
    | Reply

    May 2018 be your best year yet! Cheers!!

  8. Nadine Donovan
    | Reply

    MERRY CHRISTMAS! Very wise words,

  9. Kathryn Darnell
    | Reply

    Dessert first, good China, linen napkins, the lovely crystal…..It’s for a special occasion. We are “Special” TODAY, Savor the day

  10. Ellen Miller
    | Reply

    My mother in law always “tested” the dessert she made before our arrival, “Just to make sure it’s not poisoned” she would say. I try to follow her wise example.

  11. Pamela Keown
    | Reply

    I LOVE this story. Thank you.

  12. Robin Smith
    | Reply

    Pie for breakfast-yum.

  13. Linda Duff`
    | Reply

    The pie beats out MACAROONS?!?!?!? 🙂
    Here’s hoping your family filled holiday was super special !

  14. Kathi Bryan
    | Reply

    Smart woman, your mom.

  15. Dorothy Vesperman
    | Reply

    My belief has always been, save room for dessert. You don’t have to finish everything on your plate!!! Or have dessert first!!! Enjoy what you love, one never knows when your time is up, so why miss out on your Moms Pecan Pie!!! Yummy, one of my favorite desserts!!!

  16. Lisa G
    | Reply

    What a perfect rule change! I have been known to order dessert first…it’s fun and refreshing, and you can always take an entrée home to eat for lunch tomorrow! 🙂

  17. Jan C.
    | Reply

    I changed the rules, too. “Yes! You can have left-over pie for breakfast!”
    The kids think I’m the best Mom EVER!

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