All The Reasons For Tears.

posted in: Day In The Life, Sicky 72
"A má notícia" by Belmiro de Almeida, c. 1896. Image: Wikipedia.
“A má notícia” by Belmiro de Almeida, c. 1896. Image: Wikipedia.

 

On and off all day, I have been crying.

I get worried when I feel physically bad for more than a day or two (I’m on Day 3) and then I have a crying symptom on top of that.

A few years ago, my surgeon looked at me sternly and told me sadness was a serious symptom to which I needed to pay attention. She didn’t mean that I was depressed and that depression was serious (though I was, at the time, mildly, and of course depression is serious); she meant that in her experience, when Mary Fons gets sick, Mary Fons doesn’t always run a fever but she oftentimes gets very sad and bursts into tears multiple times a day.

Today, I burst into tears four times. Okay, five, because I just did it again.

Do the crying jags mean I’m sick not with a cold but with something else? My guts have felt strange lately but it’s so hard to tell. I’ve changed my diet recently; is that why I feel bad? And certainly there are perfectly good, totally reasonable and seemingly unrelated reasons to cry, cry, cry:

— My aunt is very sick and the fate of my cousins is uncertain
— I feel a terrible nostalgia for my sisters and my mom and Iowa
— People in every part of the country learn how to quilt on public television and I have taught people how to quilt on public television and I learned how to read with help from public television and my president wants to kill public television and this makes me so sad I cannot bear it, I cannot
— I must admit that I feel overwhelmed by work and school

May I ask a favor?

Is it okay to come to you and just burst into tears? I strive on the ol’ PG to offer content of substance. I strive to be precise and topical and entertaining and thought-provoking and I desperately want to make you smile. But I almost didn’t write to tonight because I feel so terribly sad and then I thought, “Well, maybe that’s why you ought to write.”

There are vulnerable posts and there are vulnerable posts. This is the latter.

72 Responses

  1. Ruth
    | Reply

    Of course it’s OK. Poor baby!
    And, go to the doctor.

    • Kris West Mimier
      | Reply

      Cry, cry & cry more. It often washes the hurt out of our hearts,

    • Shannan Sabby
      | Reply

      <<>>
      Come here little one and sit by me… we’ll hug/rock til it’s all better.

  2. MrsB
    | Reply

    Have big shoulders. Cry. And cry some more. Sometimes that’s the only way to feel better.
    I’m not physically sick, but I cry about what a mess we’re in, every day.

  3. Britt
    | Reply

    It sounds like you have plenty of reasons to be sad and a bit overwhelmed. Maybe hot chocolate is in order? Hugs are prescribed too- sending you a virtual one.

  4. Rita Subrt
    | Reply

    Hey, we’re always hear to listen to you! That’s what friends are for.

  5. Linda
    | Reply

    Honey, come on over. I’ll tuck you into the big recliner, and we’ll have a cup of tea. We don’t have to talk about anything but the weather (although I share your sadness and frustration at our president’s proposals), or we can solve the world’s problems. It’ll all be okay. I promise. Hugs to you, little one.

  6. Nancy McFall
    | Reply

    Go ahead and cry, we’re here for you

  7. Annabelle
    | Reply

    Crying can be a good release for us. Sounds like there is a lot going on in your life. I hope and pray you’ll feel better very soon, Mary, and that your aunt recovers.

  8. Kathi Montoya
    | Reply

    Yes, you are sad. I can’t help you there, BUT, there is something else to think about. Another way to look at life is to remember how many people you have tpuched. You have helped people find joy, created beauty and helped others to create beauty. You have shared your talents, passion for the fabric arts and made more than that “little light that shines in the darkness”…Yes, it is a dark time right now, but never give up your platform. You have done a very old-fashioned thing that is always new; you have created hope nd happiness with your work. In the immortal words from ‘Galaxy Quest’: Never give up, never surrender!”

  9. Jeanann
    | Reply

    Crying is perfectly okay.

  10. Peggy Perry
    | Reply

    Thank you and of course you can. I say thank you because I have been dealing with being depressed for about three years. It’s not caused by a medical condition but by work. I don’t want to unload here but do know you are not alone. Know we love you for all you do. I wish I had the answer, but I do know if you can’t tell people how you feel it will not get better.

  11. Kathlene Larson
    | Reply

    Of course it’s ok. But please, please Mary ; go to the doctor. We will all breathe a sigh of relief! We love you. And we love public television too. And all will be. better soon!

  12. Diane Loehr
    | Reply

    Stop by for a shoulder to cry on any time.

  13. Lenniesmom
    | Reply

    I have a very snuggy flannel quilt my momma made that has special healing powers that you could wrap up in

  14. Britiney
    | Reply

    Here’s a virtual tissue. And a hug. And much love.

  15. Mary Ann Scankin
    | Reply

    I am so glad you trust us enough to come and cry. Please give yourself a gentle hug and check in with your Dr.

  16. Carol
    | Reply

    Some days are like that. I hope you are feeling better soon. There are a lot of us out here sending you hugs!

  17. Diana
    | Reply

    Friends are there for you in good times and sad~go ahead and cry. You have legions of friends here to support you~even if we’ve never met. Sometimes, we just need to share the down times before we pull ourselves back up again. Sending you hugs and encouragement~

  18. Nancy Neely
    | Reply

    Of course you can come to me and cry! I’m liable to give you a big hug, but you can cry on my shoulder or I’ll hold your hand when you cry. It is a crying shame that the president wants to cut funding for PBS but thinks nothing of jetting off to Florida every damn weekend. Getting angry is easier for me than crying (I wish I could cry easier). But please do monitor your health. 6R9K

  19. Bonnie
    | Reply

    Go ahead and cry, Mary! You are doing so much. Maybe you could take a quick trip home to Iowa. Family always helps. Hugs to you and please take care of yourself – you are loved by so many!

  20. Kristina Morrow
    | Reply

    I’m a firm believer that when an urge to cry overwhelms me – that there is a toxin in my system that needs to be released (through my tears). If I don’t cry, act tough, hold back those tears I become ill. I think of tears as healing (in most cases).

  21. Karen O'Connor
    | Reply

    Cry, Girl! CRY!!!!!! We love you and for more than just that you entertain and make us laugh. You make us THINK!
    Breathe, cry, breathe, sew, write, sleep, sleep some more, and breathe again. XOXO-Lady K Quilts

  22. Diane Moore
    | Reply

    I’ve been bursting into tears as well for one of the same reasons. xxx

  23. Ronna
    | Reply

    Living has become so heavy for me too. I am a Veteran with PTSD who finds strength from my afflicted sisters. Check with me if you need a sister. Bristol TN R2

  24. Audrey Arnold
    | Reply

    Dear girl, it’s only normal to have down days and the need to purge some of those feelings through the release of tears. No one can be strong and put on a happy face everyday. Please go to the Doctor and be sure nothing is going on health wise. In the meantime, all of your fans will form a virtual ring of hugs around you to keep you safe, warm and loved.

  25. Judy Forkner
    | Reply

    This administration brings me to tears nearly every day. That’s NOT a good thing.
    Maybe it’s time for a family visit?

  26. Marianne ten Kate
    | Reply

    Living in another time zone means I’m always a bit out of synch with Paper Girl’s hot-off-the-press issues. But I hope today this works in my favor with the new day bringing you, and many of your readers I suspect, the chance to rebuild our strength. You are not alone in experiencing what might be described as a free-floating anxiety about the world today. It’s not good. But it’s not permanent. I live in the UK and with the process now begun to leave the European Union, I feel real grief mixed with anger which catches me out from time to time. Although I feel lower than a rattlesnake’s belly, I choose to believe – wherever we live – that our current state of affairs may be a catalyst for change. While I’m figuring out how to be part of that change, I sew and I do my best not to dwell and to support my friends who feel the same. We must support each other and I thank you for sharing your emotions so candidly; it’s always ‘better out than in’ as someone’s mother used to say. If I could, for a moment’s light relief, I would send you a snapshot of my small curly haired dog trying to look noble with leaves stuck to his face after he’s been rootling around in the bushes. In the meanwhile, accept good wishes from another member of your virtual family.

    • linda schiffer
      | Reply

      What a positive outlook you have! It’s very inspiring to me. I, too, am dismayed by the current state of politics (in my country) … and have been coping by turning my back and focusing on my own private life for a while. Time to turn back to public behaviour, though, I think.

      🙂 Linda

  27. Mary B
    | Reply

    Cry! Post all the sads out. It’s not good to keep it in. And all happy all the time isn’t real, anyway. **Hugs**

  28. Jennifer Reinke
    | Reply

    Of course Mary! It is sometimes best to cry and get it off your shoulders. But please go to the Doctor. Hugs to you

  29. Susan
    | Reply

    I’m not someone who writes replies but today is such a sad day for you. I wish I could make you feel the way you and your mom and your show have made me feel.
    Safe,warm and happy.!
    I wish only the best for you and hope you are feeling better soon.
    Sending hugs and happy thoughts your way.

  30. Brandy Hallock
    | Reply

    I am so sorry Mary.
    Of course it is alright to write when you are sad.
    I hope this new day finds you feeling much better.
    Just in case, I am sending a hug. <3

  31. Jenny Carr
    | Reply

    “You keep track of all my sorrows
    You have collected my tears in your bottle.
    You have recorded each one in your book”

    Thank you for bringing this verse back to me.

  32. Liz
    | Reply

    Your blog is pretty much the first thing I read when my alarm goes off in the morning. It makes me smile about being human. I love your instagram pictures of details of life around you. I love you being human and so engaged in your life. Feeling overwhelmed is a state I can also relate to and find myself crying about on a regular basis. Mary Fons, you are a fine example of a human being and I love that you share all of it with us. (Well, I’m sure not ALL of it, some things, I’m sure, are WAY too personal for the interwebs!). Cry away. I’m crying with you. Hugs.

  33. Jane
    | Reply

    Consider yourself hugged and wrapped in the coziest quilt. You make a difference to so many of us. Cry as much as you need to, and then give yourself a little space. You WILL feel better.

  34. Diane Rincon
    | Reply

    Come. Cry. We’ll cry together. We have reason. You’re safe with us.

  35. Sidney Teresa Joiner
    | Reply

    I understand. I suggest that you call your doctor, just to get checked out. You cannot ignore the possibility of a flare up. Also, I find that antique ladies handkerchiefs help me feel better. I may have to carry 4-5 (germs-used-yuck.) Then you should indulge in a good long cry in the shower, with the tears of the world joined with yours. Finally, a cup of soothing peppermint tea. It won’t solve problems, but it can soothe your soul. Best wishes, and know that you’re loved.

  36. Kelly Ashton
    | Reply

    There’s a place and a box of tissues here for you, anytime you want / need them! Take good care of you, please., and listen to your body….
    ❤️

  37. Jacob Nohl
    | Reply

    Our president isn’t trying to kill pbs. He just shares the view of many Americans who don’t want to pay for it. Pbs won’t be killed. Hang in there, kitty. Spring is here and you’ll feel better soon!

    -Jake

  38. Mary paine
    | Reply

    Mary you have such support. You have a brother here in Florida doing good things with quilts of valor. Love Dave. Met him almost 40 years ago. Saw him about a week ago at Melbourne. He was showing me his blocks and saw his wife. Lovely caring people. After my son was murdered quilting saved me and loved all your books and shows. Maybe knowing how much you helped someone else will make you feel better. Hugs, Mary in Indialantic

  39. Ivy
    | Reply

    I am crying over that NEA thing, too. Sending you a hug. xo.

  40. Mary Veneskey
    | Reply

    Mary, this past year has been a rough one for me for many reasons and I have spent many days crying. I feel you my friend, and I am also giving you a virtual hug…a big one. I hope you feel better soon!!

  41. Anita Brayton
    | Reply

    I suspect you are in tune with your body more than the average person. You do whatever you have to do to get better. If crying helps, go for it. Hope you feel better soon. I, too, feel like crying about the proposed national budget.

  42. Val
    | Reply

    Sometimes you just need to cry. I think of it as a relief valve for stored up sadness, madness and gladness. When I am very emotion in with any of those feelings, tears are never far away.

    And certainly you can cry on my shoulder, come here if you like but bring a snowsuit, it’s still winter.

  43. Peg Cussen
    | Reply

    We love you Mary! Prayers

  44. Michele Bilyeu
    | Reply

    Mary, I immediately thought of the brain-gut connection concept which was on a Scientific American news link a while back:
    https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/gut-second-brain/
    It was the discovery that our gut acts like a 2nd brain and it’s enteric nervous system reacts in many ways that link together with the mind-body- spirit connection for emotions and health..

  45. Barbara
    | Reply

    Mary, there is nothing wrong with crying if it eventually makes you feel better. There are times we all need to get that feeling, whatever it may be” out of our chest and through our eyes. It happens to me and I know I can’t stop it, it just happens and I let it pass. Sometimes , I think, we think too much.

  46. peggy barcelona
    | Reply

    come on in, we’ll cry together

  47. Cindy mizer
    | Reply

    Of course, sweetie. I have 3 adults girls and they all know they can come and cry with me.

  48. Trena Johnson
    | Reply

    Crying is very good for you. I cry when i’m sick as well. Not so much when sad but when very frustrated with everything. I retreat to my books, my quilting/piecing-improv stuff that can be used for dog/cat beds. a very very hot bath with candles. Life can be so overwhelming, we have to take it one piece at a time. Virtual HUGS xoxo

  49. Pamela Keown
    | Reply

    yes—you cry. I will hold you and pat your back. ((hugs))

  50. Nadine donovan
    | Reply

    Mary- let the tears out!!! Tears release the pressure of God knows what that is building up on the inside. Tears are a part that makes us human. I really want you to go see your Dr. In the mean time- slow down, eat food that you know agrees with you, put on some happy music, read all of our responses to you, go sew something, talk to a friend, pray…. Do anything that makes you smile and laugh. We love you Mary and we are concerned for you! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo!

  51. Janie H
    | Reply

    Please let it all out! In fact, after reading your last couple of posts, I have to admit I am envious of you. You have been able to successfully return to school after deciding to make a change. I had so wanted to do that but never had the opportunity. I want to shout “You Go Girl” every time I read one of your posts. So for today, You Go Girl! Do what’s right for you and if you feel like crying, it surely is A-OK with all your fans! You are writing what a whole bunch of us are feeling–your forum is much better! I wish you a terrific day!

  52. Shasta
    | Reply

    I tend to get weepy for two reasons. One, when I don’t get enough sleep. Sleep deprivation is serious and weepiness is my first symptom. I tended to get overwhelmed at issues that I was able to handle more easily in other circumstances. The other is peri-menopause. As my body was starting to go through the change, I found that the tears flowed easily due to the hormone changes. These were tough issues, but they did not make me cry in different circumstances.

  53. Cheryl Yingst Yingst Bartel
    | Reply

    Of course it is OK to cry. I am brand new to your blog, but it is your vulnerability that attracted me in the first place. Listen to and trust your intuition about your own body.

  54. Kathy Darnell
    | Reply

    You bring me joy. For years I have watched you and your Mom teaching me how to quilt, giving me pointers and telling me it’s OK to make a mistake. My Mom was wonderful on her old Singer. Wedding gowns, school clothes, drapes and bathing suits, she did it all. Mary, my Mom could have been YOUR Mom. Sadly, my Mom had Alzhemers. Watching your Tips segment was the connection back to conversations with Mom. I THANK YOU for those Saturdays. I thank PBS for all those wonderful times that I watched with such pleasure. You and your Mom made a difference in my life. PBS will live on because of people like you and me. Be well my lady. Good job and thanks

  55. Becki Morrison
    | Reply

    I wish I could cry, it’s a great release….me, I’m a hold it all in and send patches of pain bursting through my skin like A bomb mushroom clouds, creating red itchy hives…..I’d much rather cry……
    It is a painful time but I’m trying to turn it over to my heavenly father since I know, I am not in control…

  56. Martha
    | Reply

    Of course! You may cry on my shoulder anytime. I might join, too. Life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns and you’re brave to share.

  57. Michelle Wilcox
    | Reply

    I’m sending you hugs because they always help and because I really know what you’re going thorough. I have Crohn’s & an ostomy and when my system gets out of whack, I cry at the drop of a hat. Please know that you are not alone and your post assures me that I’m not crazy.

    I wish I could send you a Kleenex care package, but they no longer offer it.

  58. Melissa
    | Reply

    Wait it is not okay to have a good daily cry? Oops! I do it fairly often and it does make me feel better. Can I also blame it on being 37? I also realized my recent sewing spree was me sewing my emotions away.

    We can have a cry and sew period together….and then eat something safe (I have to eat a very restricted diet but I have figured out the treat side)

  59. linda schiffer
    | Reply

    OH, Mary, you are the most articulate, cogent crying person I know! 🙂 Yes, please, cry whenever you need to do it here – I, for one, will happily read whatever you have to say.

    On the other hand, if you come visit me in person and cry I will very possibly cry with you as depression is something I have struggled with all my life. Shrug.

    🙂 Linda

  60. Pam
    | Reply

    You may possibly need to write at these times more than any other. You need to get it all out – bottling it up isn’t good. And it gives your adoring readers the opportunity to connect with you on a different level. We all know our Mary Fons isn’t perfect and that life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows for any of us all the time, but posts like these let us know that maybe we need to send a little bit of extra positive energy out into the universe headed your way.

  61. Dians
    | Reply

    Cry all you want. However, it might be a good idea to check in with your doctor. I have a genetic adrenal condition and crying is a major symptom. It can mean that I’m getting ill, but typically it means that somehow I’ve missed something in my care. My adrenals get stuck in a go position and tears go go go. Typically, I need rest, good food and a good Pilates season. However, if it happens more than a few tonnes a month, it’s time for a blood test.I şay all that tho say, check it all out. You know your body. And if you are a little stressed and depressed about the current political climate, you are not alone. Many hugs and sending love and peace your way. I’m just 60 miles down the highway in Kankakee.

  62. Caroline
    | Reply

    Yes, you can always say how you feel. So sorry you are sad. Talk to your doctor or your mother? Or us, your loving community. I hope you start to feel better soon xoxo

  63. Pat Hicks
    | Reply

    Mary, please feel free to cry to us, and with us, we love you . I to have been in a funk, and have some health issues. It seems like there haven’t been two good days in a row. I’m going to sew all day tomorrow and forget my woes for a bit. Please go to a doctor, call your mom, I’m sure it will be soothing to hear her voice. Prayers going your way.

  64. Susan Wietzke
    | Reply

    I too cry when I am ill.. Sometimes that will be the first symptom of pendinding illness. But you must also take into account all of the terrible things that are occurring and with a cold it is hard to put on a brave face. Also remember tears are cleansing, hormones are released with tears. And last this too shall pass. Take care of yourself Mary.

  65. Linda
    | Reply

    On a very difficult day in my life I was sitting in a room waiting for the dr to come in. I had one of those lovely paper gowns that always make you feel so in control of your world . Tears streaming down my face with not pain but sadness. It seems like I had been waiting so long. My tears were beginning to slow and I noticed this picture on the wall of a mountain and a road. The quote below it said ” A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn”
    I have never forgotten that moment. When ever life overwhelms me now. I say to myself. I just need to make the turn. So cry, check in with your dr. and make the turn in the road. To the good things beyond.

  66. Therese
    | Reply

    You have valid reasons to cry. There’s a time to keep a stiff upper lip and a time to acknowledge what you are feeling. Remember, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. You’ll be okay, and remember you have a big circle pulling for your

  67. Anita Ross
    | Reply

    Bless you sweet Mary. I have missed you on the TV show and hope your health is improving. There is always a time to cry and your body will tell you when. But reach out to your loved ones when it becomes too much.
    You have a million fans out here waiting for your return. Tons of virtual hugs coming your way.

  68. Ray Burke
    | Reply

    Cry as you need to. Over a seven year period I lost 5 immediate family( mom, wife and 3 kids). I too have a difficult gut issue which drives me nuts and some veteran issues. I was taught men don’t cry. I have learned to. I cry a lot. It hurts but it heals. So cry and heal!

  69. […] impulse is to apologize for getting boo-hooey, wingeing on about being sick, being vague, and feeling overwhelmed. But I’m one of those […]

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