PaperGirl Blog by Mary Fons

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Dear Europe: What I’m Saying is that I’m Available

posted in: Day In The Life, Work 13
I will blog from INSIDE the Liberty department store! This, I solemnly swear! Image: Wikipedia.
I will blog from INSIDE the Liberty department store! This, I solemnly swear! Image: Wikipedia.

 

To the generous, gifted, and winsome quilters I spent Friday and Saturday with in Pennsylvania: Thank you.

Not only were you fun to hang with, you were particularly fearless in your workings of the patch (patchwork) and you geeked out right along with me with the quilt history stuff. Really, thank you for being so Good.

I’ve been thinking about my Pennsylvania experience since I left, but right before I sat down to write, something I said the other night suddenly hit me as being true in another respect: I told you that even though much of my time is spent writing about quilts, talking to quilters, teaching patchwork, lecturing on quilt history, reading and thinking about quilts in America, etc. — after all that, when I get home in the evening, what do I want to do? Sew.

Of course, it isn’t always the case; sometimes I’m so pooped when I get home, “sewing” looks more like “eatin’ chips”. But it’s generally true that making quilts is still, always something I want to do; indeed, if I didn’t have pages to turn in for workshop tomorrow, articles to write for the paper, and TV wardrobe to select, I’d be sewing right now.

I thought about that sentiment when I sat down because I have been writing all day. I worked on an essay; I edited an article; I drafted a number of delicate emails; I wrote up pitches; I researched things and made notes — and that was just the four hours between 5:30 and 9:30 a.m. I left the house a little after that and the rest of the day had me writing, too, just in different locations.

And what do I do when I get home? Exactly. Because it never fails me. Now, I fail at writing, that’s for sure. But it doesn’t fail me, just as needles and thread don’t fail me or anyone else.

“Mary,” you ask me, and you cock your head to the side. (You look adorable when you do that.)

“Yes?” I reply, reclining in my patchwork kimono, eatin’ chips. “What can I do ya for?” I say, and I think this is hysterical, so I laugh, which causes me to inhale some chip dust. I’m good, though.

“You gave this post a title that, as far as I can tell, has nothing to do with anything.”

“Au contraire,” I say, and I wipe my chippy fingers on my sock.

“When I get home from a long day of quilts, I want to sew. When I get home from a long day of writing, I want to write. Well,” I say, licking a tiny chip from the corner of my mouth, “I have been traveling and lot and will continue to in the next months, but I still want more trips.”

“Ohhhh,” you say, ” — and you want to go to Europe.”

I tell you yes, that’s it, exactly: I would be so excited if I could visit quilting people across the pond. Maybe I have to put it out there to move the ball forward; I am definitely not too proud to beg.

And that’s it. That’s what I wanted to say.

Goodnight!

Woman In a Suitcase

posted in: Travel, Work 12
Young woman with suitcase, Hollywood, 1942. Image: Wikipedia.
Young woman with suitcase, Hollywood, 1942. Image: Wikipedia.

 

Tomorrow morning, pre-dawn, I leave Philly and return to Chicago.

I’m there for three days of class and working in the newspaper office and then it’s to Iowa to tape episodes of Love of Quilting with Mom. After we wrap TV, I go back to Chicago, and then I go to New England on assignment.

School began last week, and I love everything. I’m reading Mann’s Dr. Faustus; I’m polishing up an essay I worked on this summer so that I can fork it over in workshop next week; I’m preparing for a newspaper staff retreat tomorrow and an open meeting for writers on Monday.

It does feel sometimes that I do not know how to do less than this.

I’m not beleaguered. I’m not complaining. I’ve chosen all these activities, all these tasks. I’m the one who can stay put. Only I can say “later”, or say “no”. But I don’t. I never do. Not unless I’m forced to, and whatever tries to force me has to get past me first. I’m not competitive with other people, but I try to best myself every day. Is it a fair fight? Me against me?

Absolutely.

I met so many incredible quilters these past two days in the Philly area. No matter where I go, no matter how tired I might be or how many other things are weighing down on me, quilters bolster me, build me up. It happens every time and it’s real.

Goodnight.

Taco Tape

posted in: Day In The Life, Work 13
800px-NCI_Visuals_Food_Taco
The mighty — and mighty flawed — Mexican-style taco. Image: Wikipedia.

 

I think the idea for Taco Tape® first came to me when I was in junior high school. I was probably eating a taco when it happened.

The concept — which I’ll get to in a second — didn’t truly come into focus until a high school Econ class, however. Teach split us into small groups and tasked us with dreaming up a new product, then creating a marketing plan for it. Pretty standard-issue high school Economics assignment, but from humble beginnings, great things can come.

Our teacher may have chalked some product ideas up on the chalkboard. There might have been some discussion once we were divided into groups. But I had no use for these brainstorms. I needed no idea bank. I already had a brilliant product idea from years before! This was my moment! I politely informed my group that our product would be Taco Tape® . They shrugged and said it sounded like a good idea — because it is.

In short, Taco Tape® is an edible taco repair system.

Think about it. When you are eating a taco, a burrito — a tortilla-wrapped item of any kind, really — nine times out of ten, you’re going to run into problems. Because tacos fall apart! Juices from pico de gallo or chicken or sauce will compromise your snack. It’s not a matter of if; it’s a matter of when. Am I wrong? Do you not reach the end of your burrito or taco and find yourself regressing into some simian version of yourself, poking at your plate, scooping up the orts, lamely fashioning numerous other, tiny burritos by pinching shreds of your tortilla around a bean here, a chunk of carnitas there? Sad!

With Taco Tape®, all your burritos and tacos stay together — all the way down to the last delicious bite. Taco Tape® is made from 100% organic wheat and corn and comes off a Taco Tape® dispenser at your table, right next to the salt, pepper, and hot sauce! The secret to Taco Tape® is the invisible, flavorless, 100% natural, edible adhesive on the underside of the tortilla strip. Just pull off a piece of tape, bandage up your taco or burrito — and enjoy every perfect bite.

Right?? Wouldn’t Taco Tape® be great?

This isn’t the first time I’ve written about Taco Tape®, actually; I wrote about it years ago when the ol’ PG was very new and on a different website/server thing, both of which have been lost to time. But the coolest thing happened a couple years ago: A high school class somewhere here in the U.S. contacted me about using Taco Tape® as their product in their own Econ class! Someone else had the idea for an edible taco repair system! They googled it and the internet did produce my name in relation to it, so these darling teenagers emailed me to ask me if they could play around with the idea. Sometimes, you realize the world is gonna be okay.

My name was connected with Taco Tape®! On the internet! And now it is again. Seriously, can someone get to work on this? The world’s burritos need you. And I may or may not have the proprietary edible glue formula. Hm.

P.S. I am thinking about all my Florida friends and family and all of your friends and family anywhere in the path of Irma or The Next Big One. It’s frightening. We’re with you in the ways we can be. 

I Look At Pictures

posted in: Work 9
Teenager in Italy, playing with light display. Image: Wikipedia.
Teenager in Italy, playing with light display. Image: Wikipedia.

 

I’m a busy gal. A few of the things on my list:

  • Complete my master’s degree.
  • Research and write and edit for Quiltfolk.
  • Write two (2) new lectures for QuiltCon 2018.
  • Continue to develop Super-Secret Project No. 1.
  • Poke X about Super-Secret Project No. 2 with Y.

So that’s a lot — and we both know I could keep going. But instead of listing all the rest of the stuff I get to do/want to do/have to do, I’d really like to list a few projects that I really, really want to do but can’t, for lack of bandwidth. After all, actually doing things is hard and taxing, while dreaming about doing other things is fun; everybody knows that.

So, here’s a list of projects that I want to do but just totally cannot prioritize just this second:

  • Develop Taco Tape. (*remind me to explain at some point)
  • Make a PaperGirl one-off glossy magazine for sale at gigs and/or as a gift for a donation of any size to the maintenance of this blog and the girl who writes it. (!)
  • Make a big coffee table book with a carefully-curated selection of exceptional (and exceptionally strange) public domain photos and images I have collected over the years of sifting through WikiCommons.

This last one, man … I’m telling you. That book will be so cool when I finally am able to do it — and I really want to do it. Because I have a big file of awesome pictures and illos from years of writing this blog. When I go looking for a picture of gooey butter cake or a man crossing the street with an enormous bouquet of roses, you won’t believe what I come across.

Sometimes, I’ll just click through the images in a folder I have marked “Everything Has To Be Moved”, the working title for this photo book. I don’t know that I’d make up a fictional narrative for each photo; I like the idea of these disparate photographs and illustrations simply living together, selected by me, for their beauty or uniqueness, or their quality, or their subject(s), or all of that.

I traffic in words more than images, of course, but visual language is real and I reckon I’m semi-bilingual.

Buckingham Fountain, Or: Can I Do This In 30 Minutes?

posted in: Day In The Life 7
Buckingham Fountain in Grant Park, Chicago. Image: Wikipedia.
Buckingham Fountain in Grant Park, Chicago. Image: Wikipedia.

 

When I arrived home about 90 minutes ago, my internet was down.

Whenever an internate outage happens, I immediately get the prickly heat: Did I not pay my bill? Has the world discovered I am not, in fact, an adult person, able to pay her bills, but a foolish child who cannot handle — and does not deserve — the perks of being an adult? While I could still check on my phone where we are on the whole “imminent threat of nuclear war” thing, I couldn’t post on the ol’ PG, which upset me greatly.

So I restarted my computer and restarted my modem. That’s what internet monkeys have been trained to do, right? Right. But it didn’t work. So I tried it again. And I restarted my computer. And then, thanks be, after some minutes I heard the “ding!” of my email program downloading many, many things that I need to deal with immediately, even though it is nearly midnight. Did I deal with them?

No.

Because first, I must run to you. You, reader. Because I love you. And if I don’t write down my life, if I don’t wave, however digitally, to you, it’s not okay. It just isn’t. You’re stuck with me.

But the delay in connecting to the internet put me behind. Hey, I know my genius, brilliant, Pulitzer Prize-winning prose seems effortless, the truth is that writing my public journal takes time. Some posts come easy; some come real hard. It’s a mystery, which posts will be which. Some posts might come easy because I had a certain sandwich at lunch; other posts are brutal and take hours (or happen over the course of a couple days) and who knows why — though I do want to point out that if a writer/person takes a real long time to write/say something, it’s because that writer/person is not sure of what he/she wants to write/say. Makes sense, right? It makes sense for me, too.

So here we are, and I have no time. What you’re reading is has been quickly written because I have very little time before the clock strikes midnight. This cannot be polished further if I want to post for September 5, which I do want to do.

What can I tell you in 30 minutes?

I can tell you that very much against my inclination I have gone jogging a few times over the past month. I don’t want to be a jogger. I don’t want to “go jogging”. I don’t want to do 5k runs, or 10k runs, or — ever, ever — a marathon.

But on my birthday, exactly a month ago, I was up at the Island and I just needed to run. I was probably needing to run from something; let’s be honest, people. So I did. I ran three miles. It felt good. I didn’t listen to music. I didn’t go fast. I just did it. What I liked was that there weren’t any screens involved. What I liked is how I remembered “jogging” doesn’t belong to “joggers” and that there is no “right way” to move faster than walking. What I liked is that I forgot that I liked it.

Yesterday, I went jogging. I didn’t go for hours. I went for 30 minutes. It was great. I didn’t do it well. I wasn’t a fitness model in a magazine. I just moved my body through space, outside, with no internet eating at me. I ran through Grant Park and I ran past the great Buckingham Fountain. Had I ever seen it more fully? Had I seen it with more reverence?

I have just enough time to tell you that I had not. I have just enough time to tell you that it was time to make the change.

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