PaperGirl Blog by Mary Fons

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5 Nov 2017

‘Bluebonnets’ For Texas

by Mary | posted in: Paean | 10

A field of bluebonnets near Marble Falls, Texas. Image: Wikipedia.

The bluebonnet is the state flower of Texas. I just learned that.

A few hours ago, I learned there was a shooting in Texas today. Today is Sunday. The shooter opened fire inside a church in Sutherland Springs. Twenty-six people are dead, many more injured. By morning, I’m sure that number will change, which is to say the number will rise. The number will sink into further sadness and then it will be lost to the next news cycle. This is madness.

Like most states, Texas has a state song. But it also has a flower song.

In 1933, Texas adopted “Bluebonnets” by Julia D. Booth and Lora C. Crockett as the “official state flower song.” (This was House Concurrent Resolution No. 24 of the 43rd Legislature, in case you’re wondering.) The song’s lyrics are beautiful. I haven’t looked up the tune, yet. If it’s too tender, if the melody sounds less like a celebration and more like a eulogy, I’ll lose it.

For now, I’ll just read the words to Texas’s “official state flower song” and maybe you want to read them, too.

Bluebonnets
by Julia D. Booth and Lora C. Crockett (1933)

When the pastures are green in the springtime

And the birds are singing their sonnets,

You may look to the hills and the valleys

And they’re covered with lovely Bluebonnets.

Blue is the emblem of loyalty,

They’re as blue as the deep, deep sea,

Their smiling faces bring gladness,

For they bloom for you and for me.

Bluebonnets, so gorgeous and stately,

In your mantle of blue and of green,

In the spring when you’re in your full glory,

You’re the loveliest sight ever seen.

You’re beautiful when you sway in the sunshine,

You look like waves of the sea,

Ah, Texas was wise in her choice of a flower,

So we offer our homage to thee.

CHORUS

Bluebonnets, blue lovely Bluebonnets,

More beautiful than all the rest.

Texas chose you for her flower,

And we love you best, Bluebonnets.

2 Nov 2017

Well, Something’s Not Right.

by Mary | posted in: Day In The Life | 13

Aurora calculator, with Error and Memory. Image courtesy Wikipedia.

Friends, countrywomen. Gentlemen. Kids.

As you can see, something is very funky with the ol’ PG, here. I updated a bunch of the things WordPress told me to update and here’s what I get. I tried to fix it yesterday and the whole thing went offline. This gave me just a touch of cardiac arrest. Just a smidge.

I should be printing out every single post. I can’t do that right now. I just can’t. But when things go wrong, I feel my entire life collapse before my eyes. What if PaperGirl disappeared? All these years of being here with you, gone in an instant? I would not recover well from that, y’all.

Anyone got time to make a lot of copies? Put ’em in a nice binder? Send them to the PaperGirl mailbox? It could be … fun! Really! And then I would be able to sleep at night! Wouldn’t that be nice?

I have absolutely no idea how to fix what’s wrong, here. If anyone out there is a WordPress whiz or knows one would could help me, please let me know. I’m desperate. (You may remember a similar desperation during this delightful email situation.) You know how some people are so severely allergic to nuts, if they even breathe in the dust of a single peanut, they’re in danger? That’s how I am with tech problems. Server crashes, data zaps, blog bugs, cell phone fails — this awful, awful stuff is my own personal kryptonite. My peanut dust kryptonite. Kryptopeanut? Whatever you call it, I feel strangled and cry a lot when these things happen.

Fixing this problem may mean I’m offline for a spell. I have so much to tell you, though! That’s why this stuff is the pits: Don’t these binary numbers realize we all have things to do? Anyway, I’ll do my best to get the ol’ PG put right as soon as possible so that I can pass along some exciting news.

It may or may not be heart related. Oooh …

29 Oct 2017

Philip Larkin’s ‘Days’

by Mary | posted in: Philip Larkin | 9

Yes, that is a cow and a puppy. You are welcome. (Thanks, Wikipedia.)

Tonight, my friends, we are visited by Philip Larkin. No, not the puppy I’m still dreaming about, but work from the late poet himself. It’s a day for poems and “Days” is one of Larkin’s best, if you can choose bests from a body of work like that.

As for Philip Larkin (aka “Philip Barkin”) the mini-Maltipoo puppy, I sent an email today to a breeder. Don’t get wag your tail just yet, though; there’s still miles to go before I’ll be typing up the ol’ PG while a puppy licks my toe.

I’ve had the chance to revisit my research lately, though, that is true, and I just watched 20 minutes of puppy videos on YouTube. If my desire for Philip is like, a flare-up of some kind, I have officially left remission. I want my puppieeeee.

Anyway, here’s “Days,” as exquisite as the face of a 4-week-old puppy, just in a different, more existential, melancholy way.

Days
by Philip Larkin

What are days for?
Days are where we live.
They come, they wake us
Time and time over.
They are to be happy in:
Where can we live but days?

Ah, solving that question

Brings the priest and the doctor

In their long coats

Running over the fields.

Philip Larkin, “Days ” from Whitsun Weddings. Copyright © Estate of Philip Larkin. Source: Collected Poems (Farrar Straus and Giroux, 2001).

28 Oct 2017

When Slippers Kill

by Mary | posted in: Day In The Life | 9

THESE CUTE SLIPPERS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE SLIPPERS OF DOOM. (Slippers of Doom not pictured.) Image: Wikipedia.

A few days ago, I talked about how I have what could be called “home clothes.”

House slippers, a common element in your average loungewear ensemble, were not included in the description of my loungewear, however, because I’ve never been that into slippers. But just a few days after that post, what did I find when I reached into the depths of my closet to switch over my wardrobe from Warmish to Coldish?

I found a pair of slippers.

I had forgotten about them. They were your average pair of slippers. They were normal-looking, nothing suspicious. Navy blue, moccasin-style, fleece-lined with a decorative leather lacing. The soles were made of plastic. I think I got them at the Gap or something? You know the kind.

“Sweet,” I thought, and promptly put these ‘slips on my feet. Sounds good, right? Yeah, well, these slippers are trying to kill me.

This morning, I did my usual thing. I got up, prepared the tea tray, took my medicine, lit a small candle on the coffee table, and settled in for some morning reading on the couch. I was wearing my slippers and felt happy about that.

At some point while I was reading and slurping, I wiggled my toes in my slippers and, “Ah!” I said, because in wiggling my toes I broke the plastic on the bottom and stuck my whole toe through the dang slipper! And it scratched me! My slippers were busted and my toe was aggrieved. You think you’ve got a lagniappe situation and it turns out to be a real crock.

But that was nothing.

I set down my tea and reached down to my toes — hey, I’m flexible — and checked to make sure I wasn’t seriously wounded. (It didn’t look that bad but what about rabies??) I pulled off the slipper and tossed it to the side and where did it land?

It landed on the candle!

“Ah!” I cried, and grabbed it immediately, losing my place in my book and snapping the lead on my pencil in the process.

“That’s curtains for you!” I said to the slippers, and I marched them right over to the trash can. I paused over the recycling bin (which is really just a Trader Joe’s bag, let’s be honest) but I decided murderous slippers are best not recycled into a water bottle.

It has only now struck me that it is Halloween!

27 Oct 2017

Clean Copy

by Mary | posted in: Word Nerd | 20

Ah, line edits. I know the feeling. Image: Wikipedia. — Ah, the red pen! I love it. Image: Wikipedia.

When I look back at entries from several years ago — like this one about the name of this blog, or this one about QVC handbags — it’s hard for me not to want to fix stuff. I feel like I hand over pretty clean copy here on the ol’ PG, but there was a time when I thought I should go back to the very, very beginning entries and revise/edit everything, but then I realized that I wanted to at least try and have a Normal Person Life.

It’s funny, though, because these days I actually feel happy to see how far I’ve come as a copy editor.

Because while it’s important to me that my style and syntax have improved (I think they have!) and while I hope my sentiments and how I express them have matured (have they?), clearly seeing that I’m picking up AP style skills is great news. All the sentiment in the world won’t connect with anyone if the writer doesn’t pay attention to the readability and consistency of her copy. And good copy editing is crucial to the writer as she tries to say what she wants to say. It’s all in the commas, man.

It’s funny, but it’s not my writing classes that get the credit for this improvement: It’s due to being an editor at the school newspaper, of course. When I was editor of Quilty magazine we had lots of eyeballs on all the text, obviously, and we were greatly aggrieved when we found a typo after the issue was printed. But rigorous, Associated Press-style copy editing isn’t the focus at most craft publishing houses, so if I were to go back through all those issues, I’d probably catch stuff.

Though I am well aware there are typos from time to time in PaperGirl, I’m confident that my hyphens, capitalizations, quotations, numbers, titles, etc., is as good as I can get it without the help of an outside editor. And I keep learning.

Just for fun, below are a few examples of sentences I wrote in an entry in 2013 — and how I would edit those sentences, now. If you are into this kind of thing, you will be really into this. If you’re not, you will be like, “Mary, you are sweet but never give us copy editing examples ever again. Maybe consider describing paint drying.”

I know.

But for my fellow Word Nerds, enjoy. Just remember that I would surely make deeper edits on these sentences if I were working up a serious draft, but for now, the eagle-eyes out there will see the changes and it might make you smile.

All this stuff matters, it really does.

THEN: I bought $50.04 worth of hunter orange today to protect my kith and kin.
NOW: Today, I bought 50 dollars worth of “hunter” or “blaze” orange to protect my kith and kin.

THEN: [The] past few days have been ever-so-slightly tense — and it ain’t because we’ve been playing 6 hours of Yahtzee every day.
NOW: [The] past few days have been ever-so-slightly tense — and it ain’t because we’ve been playing six hours of Yahtzee every day.

THEN: She was beautiful; pleasantly plump, with the creamy skin one can only achieve by being fed cheese curds from infancy.
NOW: She was beautiful. Pleasantly plump with the kind of creamy skin one can only achieve by being fed cheese curds from infancy.

Writing is so fun. Agh! I love it!!! 😀

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